Songwriter Seeks Muse

I Can Speak

English

I Would Describe Myself As

I'm a laid back, old-fashioned guy who treats a lady like a lady (yes, I actually open doors, pull out chairs, and then climb out the bathroom window after the bill arrives for the lobsters we just ate).

Now don't get me wrong, being clean-cut in this way doesn't mean that I'm naive or prudish -- it just means that I treat people the way I want to be treated.

And for that matter, what happens at Motel 6 STAYS at Motel 6 (besides, would you really want anyone to know you actually stayed at a Motel 6? -- heck, their idea of a jacuzzi is pouring club soda into the commode).

Never have I been promiscuous, a player, never lied to or cheated on a girl; and am a giver looking for another giver. Perhaps THAT'S why I'm alone on Friday nights: maybe women think I'm a gay hairdresser.

I've also never smoked pot, never used drugs, never had an alcohol problem -- and then I wonder why no one invites me to parties anymore.

Life's hard knocks have made something of a realist of me, but I'm still a hopeless romantic at heart. Translation: all I've learned from suffering is how to endure more suffering. I am an excellent communicator and enjoy sparkling conversation. (I don't enjoy sparkling cold cuts -- that glittery rainbow on the edges usually means they're spoiled.)

I am also a good listener too. I'm not always good at taking a hint, but I do respond pretty well to roofies.

I've done stand-up, sketch comedy and improv, and I love George Carlin, Chris Rock, Steve Martin, Steven Wright and Rodney Dangerfield).

I'm a fledgling singer/songwriter/guitarist (I've written over 1, 000 songs) and cartoonist (I've drawn over 10 -- okay, so I'm lazy). I'm also working on a musical adaptation of the play and movie "To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday." (Just another demonstration that the U.S. isn't outsourcing for idiots anymore -- thank God THAT gap finally got filled. But on the other hand, this might be the one that makes me. Makes me think my other idea about selling lizards from vending machines wasn't so bad after all.)

I'm also just as fine with a quiet Blockbuster evening too. There's nothing like a little cuddling to help you forget what a poor decision-maker your boss was today -- especially if one of those decisions was to fire you. I love to get my nightly dose of comedy from "Late Night with Conan O'Brian": it's got to be TV's number-one comedy laboratory.

Additionally, I prefer voluptuous to anorexic -- got that Allie McBeal? If people can see your spine from the front, you can finally stop using the fat-free mayo for your tuna salad.

I am totally open to any skin color and nationality. If a woman has some Italian and German in her, that's fine: just as long as the Italian and German have gone home before I pick her up.

Being into music is a major plus, especially if she likes Frank Sinatra and The Beatles, as my songwriting style tends to be strongly imbued with these two influences (although I do have my own voice).

I dig: '60s/'70s classic rock, psychedelia, folk/folk rock, '80s music, early heavy metal, cool jazz, Brazilian jazz, traditional pop or easy listening (Sinatra/Nat "King" Cole), swing/big band, Broadway show tunes, classical music. (But stay away from that degenerate ragtime! It's the Devil's music I tellya, and it could lead to dancing. Hey, who took my straw hat and racoon coat?)

You'll also have more quality time with me because I only watch sports on TV if the Lakers are in the finals -- and that's it. (Though Tiger Woods makes golf an occasional guilty pleasure.) Football and baseball bore me profoundly (though I'll go and watch either the Dodgers or the Angels live, so long as I have something to eat every hour).

I guess I've been rambling a bit too long, so to make a long story short: the end.

Sign

Leo

My Body Type Is

Heavyset

My Height Is

6' 0 (1.83 m)

My Eyes Are

Blue

My Ethnicity Is

Other

My Marital Situation Is

Never Married

I Have Kids

No

I Want Kids

Not Sure

My Best Feature Is

Hair

Body Art

Wouldn't Even Think About It

My Hair Is

Light Brown

I Have One Or More Of These

No pets

Willing To Relocate

No

My Education Level Is

University Degree

My Current Employment Status Is

Part-time

My Speciality Is

Art / Music / Literature

My Job Title Is

English Tutor

I Live

With Roomate(s)

At Home

All Is Calm

I'm A Smoker

No

I Drink

No

Back In High School, I Was A

Class Clown

My Social Behavior Is

Reserved, Friendly, Comedic, Outgoing

My Interest And Hobbies Are

Arts & Crafts, Reading, Learning, Music, Tv, Movies, Dancing, Dining, Theater, Camping, Playing Cards, Computers

My Idea Of A Great Time Is

Hanging Out With Friends, Trying New Things, The Movies, Going To A Casino, Going To A Concert

An Ideal First Date Would Be

Going to a low key cultural event, having a nice dinner overlooking the ocean, chatting someplace quiet and private, stopping somewhere for dessert. That, or hopping on a boxcar and becoming hobos until our luck runs out and we get arrested for vagrancy: I usually let the girl decide.

I've Always Wanted To Try

SCUBA, sky diving, race car driving, ballooning, piloting a plane, astronomy, archiology, deep sea fishing, painting, acting in a movie, touring the country with my own band, space travel, flying first class, parenthood; staging an original musical, learning and playing craps in Vegas, hang gliding, parachuting, patenting an invention, creating a bill and getting a law passed, creating, writing for and acting in an original sitcom, growing a rose garden, a sea life aquarium, sleeping overnight in a haunted house, taking a cruise, vacationing in Europe, writing a song with Paul McCartney and recording it, riding the Orient Express, dining at the Waldorf Historia, seeing exotic places (The Great Wall, Bali, the Sphinx, the Tashmahal, the Grand Canyon, Niagra Falls, Brazil), go on a safari, go to cooking school (gourmet food/pastry), getting published in Poetry magazine; having a song I wrote recorded and performed by Tony Bennett.

My Friends Describe Me As Being

Friendly, Raunchy, Goofy

My Religion Is

Reform

I Attend Services

Never

My Political Views Are

Middle Of The Road

My Goal In Life Is

Is to pull off the "trifecta": winning an Oscar, Grammy and Tony for songwriting.

My Kind Of Humor Is

Campy, Clever, Dry / Sarcastic, Friendly, Goofy, Obscure, Slapstick, Raunchy

On Tv, I Always Watch

News, Situation Comedies, Movies

When I Go To The Movies, I Always Go To See A

Science Fiction, Comedy, Romance, Drama, Family, Animation, Thriller

When Listening To Music, I Always Listen To

Rock, Metal, Pop, Classical, I'm A Recording Artist, Jazz, Folk

When I Read, I Always Read

News, Comic, Humor, Reference, Poetry, Science, I'm An Author

My Idea Of Fun Is

Writing a great song; live performance (guitar/singing or poetry reading); shooting hoops; chatting up friends at a coffee house or day tripping; viewing movies (home/theatre); live entertainment (music/comedy/plays/musicals/farmers markets); picnics; pit fire/weenie roast at the beach in the evening; dining out; having a barbeque; sight seeing; being intimate with my gal.

What Do You Find Attractive?

Intelligence, Good Looks, Humor, Empathy, Sensitivity, Thoughtfullness

What Kind Of Relationship Are You Seeking?

Date, Committed